All War All the Time

This week, we report on another front on the War on Terror: everywhere. According to the Pentagon's Quadrennial Defense Review, to stave off terrorists, the US must actively "quell disorder before it leads to the collapse of political structures," and must "shape the choices of countries at strategic crossroads." The QDR identifies these nations as just about every one on earth except for Britain and France and justifies intervening in just about every aspect of a country's domestic landscape, be it leftist rebels, narco trafficers, or trade unionists. Asked if the QDR was essentially a blank check to wage an endless premptive war anywhere on the globe, a Pentagon spokesman stated, "Listen, we learned something in Iraq. Unless you lay your groundwork for war early and agressively you end up with a hasty justification. We realize that as long as we can say "terrorism" with a semi-straight face, the American people will roll over for even the most fantastic acts of aggression. But we can't squader this resource. We have to give people something so they don't feel like rank imperialists when we start dropping chemicals out of planes in the Andes, start executing rebels in Latin America, or start preparing a coup in Venezuela."