Who is at 1-800-SEX-KITTY?

This week, the mainstream media finally tapped the story that the National Security Agency is monitoring domestic phone records of Americans as part of its War on Terror. (The story hit the alternative media, like last month.) It seems that with the cooperation of major telecomm companies, the NSA has amassed a massive database of call records which it analyzes for terroristic patterns. According to a remarks given to USA Today, the President has neither admitted nor denied the program and insists that the privacy of all Americans is "fiercely protected." (real quote) Responding to a question by the White House Press Corp's Alan Adams, the President stated: "You see, we are protecting your privacy while we are violating it. So there is no need for concern.... Say Al, how long has your wife called you Jughead? Can I call you Jughead too? How 'bout Jugsy? No? .... Well......glad that bunion thing got taken care of...."