Better Living Through Science ...

This week, feminist groups issued a broadside against pharmaceutical companies for "medicalizing" the normal process of menopause. According to some women pundits, big pharma has turned the change of life into a disease just so they can market drugs to fight it. Underlying the activist's claim was a confidential memo identifying other "maladies" the pharmaceutical industry hoped to combat:

• greendayia (sullenness in adolescent boys);
• dramaqueenisis (causes overly strong emotional responses in adolescent girls);
• buthethinksimprettynosis (an affliction causing pregnancy in adolescent females);
• sportcsaraphobia (declining testerone in middle aged men);
• Crateandbarreluenza (an affliction of the suburban upper middle class);
• navelgazeus (an affliction of the overeducated professional class)
• igottagetmarriedandpregnantnow syndrome (afflicting mostly middle class white women in their 30s);
• prepatoryschoolotosis (a highly contagious affliction of the upper East Side in NY);
• hillaritis (an affliction causing nonsensical blather in white men over 45);
  republicantardation (progressive loss of brain cells triggered by successive drops in the marginal tax rate);
• and its related affliction, itsallaboutusomia (a current epidemic in the US leading to the loss of ability to morally reason).