God is My Campaign Advisor....

This week, strategists in the Republican Party hit a crossroads. In an open letter to GOP leaders, Dr. James Dobson, Richard Viguerie and other leaders of the Christian Right threatened to stay home on election day unless the Bush Administration takes steps to enact some of their agenda: namely a ban on same sex marriage, a crackdown on television vulgarity and more stringent abortion laws. The leaders urged the Administration not to "take their votes for granted" and suggested that "bad things could happen" if their agenda did not receive attention. (real quotes from the letter and subsequent interview respectively). While Chief Lickspittle Sen. Bill Frist was quick to schedule a vote on a same sex marriage amendment, sources say the White House has been in a bit of a quandary on how to respond. Speaking off the record, an assistant to uber strategist Karl Rove noted, " It gets touchy, because right now the business wing of our party is saying that the these guys [the Christian Right] are a little too nutty. However, if we lose the Christian Right we lose valuable dollars, foot soldiers and apparently the blessings of the Almighty himself. So I mean, do you really want god sitting out the mid term elections? If nothing else he does bring the threat of apocalypse. "