Turns Out a Coin Flip Doesn't Satisfy Article Three

This week the US Supreme Court ruled that the military tribunals utilized by the Bush Administration at Guantanomo Bay do not past constitutional muster. The Court rejected the Administration's argument, titled "Due Process, We Don't Need No Stinkin' Due Process." and also ruled that the Administration must remove a sign that said 'Kangaroo Court.' outside the Gitmo Hearing Room. While the press reported the story as a setback for the the Administration, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez offered a contrarian view. "These are minor setbacks. You see, while we hold almost five hundred captives at Gitmo, we have only charged a handful with any wrongdoing. Now that our tribunals have been tossed, we are in no hurry to charge any of the others. Of course, we will continue to call them 'killers' and the worst of the worst.' So we get all the benefits of making accusations, but none of the burden of actually proving them. I mean, geez, had the Supreme Court gone the other way, we might of had to actually try to prove some of these folks violated some law. I'll take the pass thanks..."