This Week in The News
This week, students at La Sapienza University in Rome protested a planned visit by Pope Benedict the XVI. In particular, students and faculty protested the Pope's statement (made while he was a Cardinal) that the 1633 trial and conviction of Galileo was "reasonable and just." Galileo was tried for heresy after insisting that the earth revolved around the sun. He was forced to publicly recant his (true) statement. In response to the protests, Vatican Radio has condemned the protestors for "censoring the Vatican." Asked if they found any irony in the Catholic Church accusing others of censorship, a Vatican spokesperson said, "Irony... no. Come to think of it, there was something going around Tuesday, when we were telling people condoms do not prevent AIDS, but we just thought there were some bad prosciutto. It could have been irony though...."
This week, Rep. Robert Wexler (D Fl) called for the House Judiciary Committee to begin impeachment proceedings against V.P Dick Cheney. Wexler's pleas stems from an impeachment petition currently in the Committee dealing with manipulation of Iraq intelligence, torture of foreign detainees, the outing of a CIA covert agent, and the unlawful firing of US attorneys. Responding to Wexler's speech, the Republican National Committee's Alex Conant stated that Wexler was simply playing to the "far Left." (real quote) Asked who he believed was in the "far left," Conant replied, "You know who I am talking about. That little cabal that doesn't like torture, thinks the government should tell the truth when preparing for war, should not out its own secret agents, who get all hot over a little undisclosed surveillance. They are a small but vocal minority."
This week, Citigroup, Merrill Lynch and other banks announced they were all receiving cash infusions from investment trusts controlled by governments in the Mideast, and Asia. For Citigroup and Merrill, the investments come on the heels of massive melt downs due to the sub prime mortgage crisis." Asked if the government bailouts did not contradict the laissez faire message that Citigroup and Merrill espouse and lobby for, a Merrill spokesman noted, "If you check our record, you will see that we have openly been against government assistance when it involves actual people getting assistance from our government. The bailout of a wealthy corporation, by a foreign government --- why that is something else entirely. I mean when you are handing out $2 million in bonuses [Merrill] you really can't expect us to take the hit."
This week, Congress continues its probe on the whereabouts of a number of videotapes depicting the interrogation of prisoners at Guantanomo Bay. As part of the investigation the Justice Department sent a team into the man sized vaults of V.P. Dick Cheney in the hope of locating tapes. The team came up empty though. After two days of searching, Special Agent Luis Gonzalez said, "We looked everywhere. Even in the cabinets labeled 'Pelosi -- Secret Lesbo' and "Terrorist Loving Sissies,' but locating a single tape of torture in an entire vault of the Vice President's is tough. Every time we thought we found it, it just turned out to be another snuff film from the V.P's private collection."
This week, Congress and the President agreed on a stimulus plan in the hopes of staving off a recession. The plan would chiefly involve rebates to taxpayers in the neighborhood of $600 and tax cuts to corporations. The President successfully defeated a Democratic attempt to include extensions of food stamp, summer work programs, and unemployment insurance in the package. Asked why he refused to extend direct aid to the poorest Americans, the President stated, "A compassionate conservative might have gone along with that, but that is so Bush 1.0. In case you guys haven't noticed, Bush 3.0 is a fiscal conservative who watches every dime, particularly those not spent on my base of upper income taxpayers. Besides we have a $13 trillion economy. Let me tell you, to stimulate an economy that size, you need something more than the french tickler you bought in the mens room for a quarter. By the way, Bush 3.0 is also a little salty ... got a taste for the off color quip ... likes to mix it up in a locker room type of way... 3.0 is a rough and tumble type. "
This week, the GOP presidential train moved to Florida where the candidates were forced to focus on the economy. While all the candidates -- with the exception of Mike Huckabee -- trotted out the familiar Republican refrain of tax cuts, the suit known as Mitt Romney also stressed his vast experience in the private sector and the millions he has made as a venture capitalist and leveraged buyout specialist. Asked how that experience could be brought to bear on the American economy, Romney answered, " Just like the deals I worked in the private sector, I would wait for the value of the country's assets to become severely depressed. I would then buy them at a firesale prices, carve them up and sell them off to foreign investors at a tidy profit. Then I would set up a dummy partnership and offload all our Iraq war debt. Trust me.... I've done this hundreds of times and made millions."
This week, Rep. Robert Wexler (D Fl) called for the House Judiciary Committee to begin impeachment proceedings against V.P Dick Cheney. Wexler's pleas stems from an impeachment petition currently in the Committee dealing with manipulation of Iraq intelligence, torture of foreign detainees, the outing of a CIA covert agent, and the unlawful firing of US attorneys. Responding to Wexler's speech, the Republican National Committee's Alex Conant stated that Wexler was simply playing to the "far Left." (real quote) Asked who he believed was in the "far left," Conant replied, "You know who I am talking about. That little cabal that doesn't like torture, thinks the government should tell the truth when preparing for war, should not out its own secret agents, who get all hot over a little undisclosed surveillance. They are a small but vocal minority."
This week, Citigroup, Merrill Lynch and other banks announced they were all receiving cash infusions from investment trusts controlled by governments in the Mideast, and Asia. For Citigroup and Merrill, the investments come on the heels of massive melt downs due to the sub prime mortgage crisis." Asked if the government bailouts did not contradict the laissez faire message that Citigroup and Merrill espouse and lobby for, a Merrill spokesman noted, "If you check our record, you will see that we have openly been against government assistance when it involves actual people getting assistance from our government. The bailout of a wealthy corporation, by a foreign government --- why that is something else entirely. I mean when you are handing out $2 million in bonuses [Merrill] you really can't expect us to take the hit."
This week, Congress continues its probe on the whereabouts of a number of videotapes depicting the interrogation of prisoners at Guantanomo Bay. As part of the investigation the Justice Department sent a team into the man sized vaults of V.P. Dick Cheney in the hope of locating tapes. The team came up empty though. After two days of searching, Special Agent Luis Gonzalez said, "We looked everywhere. Even in the cabinets labeled 'Pelosi -- Secret Lesbo' and "Terrorist Loving Sissies,' but locating a single tape of torture in an entire vault of the Vice President's is tough. Every time we thought we found it, it just turned out to be another snuff film from the V.P's private collection."
This week, Congress and the President agreed on a stimulus plan in the hopes of staving off a recession. The plan would chiefly involve rebates to taxpayers in the neighborhood of $600 and tax cuts to corporations. The President successfully defeated a Democratic attempt to include extensions of food stamp, summer work programs, and unemployment insurance in the package. Asked why he refused to extend direct aid to the poorest Americans, the President stated, "A compassionate conservative might have gone along with that, but that is so Bush 1.0. In case you guys haven't noticed, Bush 3.0 is a fiscal conservative who watches every dime, particularly those not spent on my base of upper income taxpayers. Besides we have a $13 trillion economy. Let me tell you, to stimulate an economy that size, you need something more than the french tickler you bought in the mens room for a quarter. By the way, Bush 3.0 is also a little salty ... got a taste for the off color quip ... likes to mix it up in a locker room type of way... 3.0 is a rough and tumble type. "
This week, the GOP presidential train moved to Florida where the candidates were forced to focus on the economy. While all the candidates -- with the exception of Mike Huckabee -- trotted out the familiar Republican refrain of tax cuts, the suit known as Mitt Romney also stressed his vast experience in the private sector and the millions he has made as a venture capitalist and leveraged buyout specialist. Asked how that experience could be brought to bear on the American economy, Romney answered, " Just like the deals I worked in the private sector, I would wait for the value of the country's assets to become severely depressed. I would then buy them at a firesale prices, carve them up and sell them off to foreign investors at a tidy profit. Then I would set up a dummy partnership and offload all our Iraq war debt. Trust me.... I've done this hundreds of times and made millions."
posted by Jack Reed at 11:34 AM
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