I Was Beautiful Then....

This week, the US aborted and then restarted an initiative aimed at beginning negotiations with Iran over its alleged nuclear weapons program. Ever wary of the US's changing positions, Defense analysts have turned to the one tried and true method of predicting imminent aggression: the whereabouts of the President's Flight Suit. As TWN reported, after being cleaned and tailored, Flity made its way back to the oval office. While Secretary of State Condi Rice has ordered the suit temporarily locked up, V.P Dick Cheney is said to allow the President an hour each day to admire his macho attire. Said one White House Staffer, "Its odd, he just looks at it and rubs it, like a drag queen with a pair of Judy Garland's shoes ...Sometimes he hums 'Memories' from Cats. "