This Week In The News
This week a new law went into effect in South Dakota requiring any doctor who provides abortion services to inform their patients that by choosing an abortion they are 1) destroying a human being and 2) increasing their own chances of suicide. Critics of the law, including the New England Journal of Medicine note that the first statement is a matter of faith not fact and the second statement is without any scientific support. Undeterred, members of Pro Life South Dakota are working on a new law requiring all parents to certify that the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are real and actual people and not believing in them will increase your chances of an unhappy childhood.
This week, President George W. Bush dodged a shoe thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist. The President was in Bagdhad to deliver a speech inwhich he described his five year war and occupation as a "gift to the Iraqi people." Asked if he planned any further gifts to Iraq, the President said he was looking at "pestilence, plague, and mass botulism, but I don't think they could top this..."
This week, the Republican National Committee announced further measures in its effort to burnish the image of President George W. Bush. On the heels of their semi- successful "Who Knew?" campaign (described here last week), the RNC is rolling out Project "Stop Blaming the Past." Aimed at criticism that Bush's invasion of Iraq, creation of massive budget deficits and ignoring of global warming will plague the planet for generations, SBP hopes to paint anyone who still talks about Bush's eight year reign as "stuck in the past," "not looking at the future," or "engaged in partisan blame games." The RNC's Jennifer Flowers noted, "We think this is a winner. It plays into the uniquely American habit of thinking in six month intervals. Plus, it sounds so hopeful and 'can do'...."
This week, President Elect Barak Obama came under fire for asking portly evangelical mouthpiece Rick Warren to deliver the invocation on Inauguration day. Warren has publicly stated that he believes homosexuality is a sinful disorder like pedophilia, opposes any form of gay marriage, and believes that jews cannot attain salvation." Defending his boss' pick, Obama flak Dave Paulson noted, "Listen ... we are trying to start this thing on a bipartisan note. And nothing shuts up the right wing like throwing them some homosexuals to devour. I mean, this is like a dog with a bone. It should keep them busy for at least a month...."
This week, Rev. Rick Warren defended his stance on homosexual marriage. Between bites on a enormous sandwich, Warren noted that he does not believe homosexuality is the worst sin, that he has dined with homosexuals, and that many in his congregation care for homosexuals inflicted with aids. "I'm no bigot," argued Warren. " I believe homosexuals can eat. I believe they are entitled to medical care. I just don't think they deserve the same rights as you and me... that's reasonable right?"
This week, the Associated Press released a study revealing that the 116 banks who received federal bailout money lavished their top executives with over $1.6 billion in compensation in 2007. That figure would have covered the bailouts of 53 of the banks. Apprised of the study, President George W. Bush stated, 'There are those who say that American capitalism is a rigged game, where the winners are not held accountable, and the rich just keep getting richer. Well this study clearly shows that the critics are wrong.... wait ... [of mic] if we want them to be wrong shouldn't the study come out different? Hold on.... get me someone at the Fed.. tell 'em we need a new study.... this study all ... facty...."
This week, President George W. Bush dodged a shoe thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist. The President was in Bagdhad to deliver a speech inwhich he described his five year war and occupation as a "gift to the Iraqi people." Asked if he planned any further gifts to Iraq, the President said he was looking at "pestilence, plague, and mass botulism, but I don't think they could top this..."
This week, the Republican National Committee announced further measures in its effort to burnish the image of President George W. Bush. On the heels of their semi- successful "Who Knew?" campaign (described here last week), the RNC is rolling out Project "Stop Blaming the Past." Aimed at criticism that Bush's invasion of Iraq, creation of massive budget deficits and ignoring of global warming will plague the planet for generations, SBP hopes to paint anyone who still talks about Bush's eight year reign as "stuck in the past," "not looking at the future," or "engaged in partisan blame games." The RNC's Jennifer Flowers noted, "We think this is a winner. It plays into the uniquely American habit of thinking in six month intervals. Plus, it sounds so hopeful and 'can do'...."
This week, President Elect Barak Obama came under fire for asking portly evangelical mouthpiece Rick Warren to deliver the invocation on Inauguration day. Warren has publicly stated that he believes homosexuality is a sinful disorder like pedophilia, opposes any form of gay marriage, and believes that jews cannot attain salvation." Defending his boss' pick, Obama flak Dave Paulson noted, "Listen ... we are trying to start this thing on a bipartisan note. And nothing shuts up the right wing like throwing them some homosexuals to devour. I mean, this is like a dog with a bone. It should keep them busy for at least a month...."
This week, Rev. Rick Warren defended his stance on homosexual marriage. Between bites on a enormous sandwich, Warren noted that he does not believe homosexuality is the worst sin, that he has dined with homosexuals, and that many in his congregation care for homosexuals inflicted with aids. "I'm no bigot," argued Warren. " I believe homosexuals can eat. I believe they are entitled to medical care. I just don't think they deserve the same rights as you and me... that's reasonable right?"
This week, the Associated Press released a study revealing that the 116 banks who received federal bailout money lavished their top executives with over $1.6 billion in compensation in 2007. That figure would have covered the bailouts of 53 of the banks. Apprised of the study, President George W. Bush stated, 'There are those who say that American capitalism is a rigged game, where the winners are not held accountable, and the rich just keep getting richer. Well this study clearly shows that the critics are wrong.... wait ... [of mic] if we want them to be wrong shouldn't the study come out different? Hold on.... get me someone at the Fed.. tell 'em we need a new study.... this study all ... facty...."
posted by Jack Reed at 10:13 AM
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