This Week in the News

This week, the Justice Department's Inspector General issued a 370 page report detailing the government's complicity in torture carried out by the CIA, civilian interrogators, and military interrogators in Iraq. The report lays out exactly how the Administration evaded the question, justified the policies and lied about its conduct until the truth leaked out. Eager to gain some insight into American reaction to our governments pro -torture turn TWN took to the highways. In Scottsdale, AZ, Byron Nelson told us, "I am sick of hearing all this from the left wing blame America crowd. Did they forget that Bill Clinton lied about committing adultery? And now they want to be all righteous...." Al Toona, of Harrisburg, PA reasoned, "Its not torture if you don't like them." Pauline McDonald of Galesburg, IL stated, " I am prefectly confident that our use of torture has saved countless American lives. When Mr. Cheney decides that we can hear the details of all the plots torture has foiled, he will tell us. See how you feel then smarty pants."

This week, former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan released a book in which he states that the Bush Administration engaged in a "propaganda campaign" to support an" unnecessary war, '" called President Bush "incurious" "self deluded" and even mentions that Bush told his advisors that he could not remember whether he used cocaine. Rather than refute any of McClellan's allegations, the Bush Administration has reacted by publicly portraying McClellan as deluded or a third string lineman on the Bush Team. Said Karl Rove, "Scott was never at the center of things. I mean it was not like we relied on him to deliver our message to the American people." Current Press Secretary Dana Perino even fell on the sword for the Administration: "Listen, I hold the same job and Scott held and I don't know sh-t. Seriously, dumb as a squirrel. I mean are we at war? Is there something going on with the economy? I just get up here read the teleprompter, do my sexy-but-aloof- partisan- chick- thing and the go to lunch. Seriously, who is the Karl Rove everybody keeps talking about? Is he the press room caterer?" For his part, Chief of Staff Josh Bolten refuses to comment on McClellan but sneezes the word "hermaphrodite" into his hand every time the name comes up.

This week, over 100 countries finalized a treaty to ban cluster bombs. When detonated, cluster bombs release a cluster of smaller "bomblets," which often do not explode and remain active even after a conflict has ended. Cluster bombs are responsible for a slew of civilian injuries in war torn areas. The US, Russia, China, Israel, Pakistan and India did not sign the treaty. All claimed that cluster bombs were integral to their military plans. Said a spokesperson for the Department of Defense, "We are in total victory lap mode. When your brand is selling as well as ours, why offer discounts?"

Yellin + McClellan

On the heels of Scott McClellan's dish regarding the Bush White House, CCN's Jessica Yellin -- formerly of ABC News -- had this to add:

The press corps was under enormous pressure from corporate executives, frankly, to make sure that this was a war presented in way that was consistent with the patriotic fever in the nation and the president's high approval ratings ...
And my own experience at the White House was that the higher the president's approval ratings, the more pressure I had from news executives--and I was not at this network at the time--but the more pressure I had from news executives to put on positive stories about the president, I think over time....

Yellin plus McClellan gives us a dissembling President and a press cowed by a war crazed public pumped up on fear and uber patriotism.

You know, I do not blame the Bush Administration. I really don't. The Republic will always be victimized by men of misguided intentions, hubris, ambition or some other horrible. My anger is reserved for the rest of us, the educated, the church going, the law abiding, the collective People Who Should Know Better. We are the one who went along with the plan, who did not make waves and at time concocted ridiculous justifications for our government's actions. It was us -- really -- who lost our senses, lost our ability to morally reason, who sat down when we should have stood up.

This Week in the News

This week, Representative Vito Fossella (R. NY) announced he would not seek re-election. Fossella, a conservative Republican, confessed to Virginia police that he had an out of wedlock child with his mistress, a former officer in the armed services. Fossella had been stopped for drunken driving when he spilled the beans about his second family. During his Congressional career Fossella had vigorously campaigned against gay marriage and often invoked so called family values. According to Eddie Buenoserra, who runs a cell phone store in Fossella's Staten Island district, "ooooohhhhaaay. Personally I don't see what the problem is. The man values the family. So much he's got two families. I mean it wasn't like he was getting the bing-pow in the ying yang and you know.... doin the gay."

This week was a bad week for John Mccain (R AZ). Eight top campaign officers stepped down amid revelations that they had ties to lobbying firms, putting them in violation of McCain's policy to not hire lobbyists. (One officer had actually lobbied on behalf of the dictatorship in Myanmar.) Next his friend and colleague Sen Chuck Hagel (R. NB) publicly criticized McCain for his rhetoric on Iran and lowball attacks on Sen. Barak Obama. According to Hagel, "John is smarter than the things he is saying." Lastly, network news caught McCain in a series of gaffes regarding his mistaken perceptions about the Iranian form of government. Contacted for comment, the Arizona Senator was belligerent: " %&%!! These attacks are unfair. My predecessor in office has told whoppers at every turn and the man won re-election, I lie about a hall pass and the media is actually reporting it. Damnit. After 2000 the bar was lowered. It was lowered again in 2004 and now someone wants to raise it. I ask you my friends, what about John? When is it John's turn? Why can't John patch together some half truths, outright lies and scary stuff and be President? Why does John have to be all truthy and insightful all of a sudden."

This week, TWN again hit the streets and asked 2004 Bush voters the million dollar question, "What were you thinking?" As always, we were surprised at the answers. From Tom Deluucia in Hempstead, NY, " I know the rich got richer and the poor got poorer under the President and I know he is responsible for a lot of unnecessary violence. But he saved us from the scourge of homosexual unions. That is worth the price." Francine Mangiarie from Coral Gables Florida responded, "For the same reason blacks support Obama and women support Hillary. I want a role model. The President showed me that being incurious, insular and generally mediocre isn't a bar to success." Tommy Gultiari from Cicero, IL added his two cents: "Simple. Bush said we are number one. Kerry said we have f--ked some things up. Well, which would you rather believe?" Marty Howell of Boise, Idaho added, "I was really scared... thats a good enough excuse... isn't it?" Lastly, Seth Mylan from St. Ignance, Michigan simply stated, "John Kerry wanted to take my guns."

This week, officials at the US detention center in Guantanomo Bay, Cuba dismissed charges against the so called "20th Hijacker," Mohammed al-Qahtani after it was discovered that he had been tortured while in US custody. According to US officials. Al- Qahtani was forced to wear a bra, put on a leash and forced to perform dog tricks. He was also subjected to physical punishment that damaged the reliability of the evidence against him. Pressed for comment an Army spokesperson stated that "We are sad to lose the opportunity to prosecute such a high value detainee. On the up side, footage of our torture sesions is selling well on various European fetish websites. Just type in 'Gitmo Gone Wild' and have your credit card handy."


This is our army. This is what they do in our name.

Hearts and Minds

This week, President Bush apologized to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al Maliki after it was discovered that a US sniper was using the Koran for target practice. I suspect Nolan Finley (see below) would just say this is another minor "blotch" on the otherwise glorious history of our involvment in Iraq.

I suspect some will say the Prime Minsister was overreacting. Ok. Just for fun, try occupying Alabama by force. Then, for even more fun, publicly burn the Bible in the middle of Montgomery. See how that works out for you.

Nolan Finley and Patriotism

Nolan Finley's column on Sunday was about patriotism, more specifically he(and Judge David Warren)is upset that our schools do not do more to instill it. According to Finley, our school faculties are full of Anti Americans who concentrate too much on the "blotches and warts" in our history and not enough on our triumphs. This leads to "cynical" students who "blame America."

We have of course heard this before. It is standard cant from America's right wing. As usual, the argument is lacking any specifics --the names of these Anti Americans, what they teach that is biased, what texts are offensive etc. But I don't want to focus on that right now. I want to focus on the word "cynical."

It seems that anyone who is not in full Babbit mode 24/7 or who believes that our country may have made its own bed is branded a cynic. I think this is a powerful misuse of the word, and more importantly just another rhetorical device to marginalize arguments you don't like. But more importantly, I think it is critical to understand what makes cynics. It is not just bad news. It is bad news that has been coverd up and distorted: disillusionment; finding out that people are not what they say; finding out that things are not how they have been represented. And that is an important point, because the course that Finley proposes will create more cynics than he may know. You see, people do not become cynical when they gain an honest understanding of our country's (and our leaders) failings. That just makes them realists. What makes people cynics is teaching them something they later discover to be untrue. That makes them mistrustful of the institutions behind the lie and undermines the credebility of our schools, government and authority figures.

I suspect Nolan and I have at last one thing in common. We both got the standard "we rock" course in American history. Our texts and teachers reinforced the fact that America always occupied the moral high ground, that we were always right and our enemies always wrong. We were often victims of the deceit and greed of others but our motives were always pure. If we made mistakes it was -- gosh darn it -- because we erred on the side of generosity and integrity. Unlike Nolan though, I found out this not really to be the case. I found there to be quite a lot of empty propaganda in the standard recitation of American history. That does not mean I have lost sight of the very special values that underlie this coutry, nor am I blind to the incredible potential of this country and the gifts that -- at our best -- we can bestow on the rest of the world.

I just recognize that the lion may write a different history than the hunter and it is better to get his side of the story earlier rather than later. Because the folks who just believe the hunter end up either stupid or cynical. Neither is a very good goal for our educational system.

This Week In The News

This week, Sen. John McCain took his campaign to Inez, Kentucky, the same site from which President Lyndon Johnson launched his War on Poverty. Far from conjuring Johnson's spirit, McCain assured voters that his administration would do little to help poor Americans and emphasized his belief that government can and should do little to help low income Americans. (Fittingly, in making the speech, McCain missed the opportunity to vote on a pay equity bill in the Senate.) A determined McCain told the crowd, "Friends, there are no hand outs in life. If you want something, you have to earn it. If you find yourself short of dollars, do what I did. Find and woo a rich woman, drop your current spouse and marry yourself some money. No big liberal spending program there..."

This week Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama spent time in Indiana. The Hoosier state is tough for Democrats. While successful in state and local races, only the most mild and timid Democrats ever reach federal office. Unbekownst to the candidates, we implanted mind reading chips in their lattes, that, once ingested allowed TWN to read the candidate's minds as they campaigned. From Sen. Clinton at a stop in Muncie: "Why don't these people recognize my rectitude..... gotta play up the maternal mom thing... can't offend the stay at homes... can I credibly claim to have been home schooled? Can I say we home schooled Chelsea.... how Republican can I get... remember its the '50s here.... its the '50s here...." From Sen. Barak Obama,who campaigned in Terra Haute " Crackerass, redneck, m-fers. You voted Republican for a decade because they supossedly represented your so called-values. And now your jobs are gone, you got no healthcare, and your sons and daughters are in Iraq. And you want the black guy to fix it while not offending your lilly-white-backward ass -John Birch- sensibilities. ... Audacity of Hope my ass. Audacity of My Boot Up Your Ku Klux Klan Butt is more like it...."

This week, the Republican National Commitee tipped its hand on its strategy for the 2008 campaign. The RNC announced that it had hired actor Mark Metcalf to cut some ads for Sen. John McCain. Metcalf made his mark in the 1978 hit novie "Animal House," where he played uptight fraternity president and ROTC lieutenant Doug Niedermayer who famously castigated his ROTC recruits when they dare wore a "pledge pin" on their uniform. Metcalf will supposedly reprise this role -- spittle and all -- in ads in which he asks Sen. Obama "Why don't you wear a Flag Pin on your suit!!!." Metcalf will then order an actor potraying Sen. Obama to do twenty push ups. According to an RNC spokesman, "The ads are designed to secure the GOP's identity as the party of symbolic and empty patriotism. We may live in a time of declining economic fortunes, unjustified wars and cronyism, but no one can sentimentalize and manipulate Old Glory like we can. And the lowlifes from the Delta house are not going to change that. "