This Week In The News

This week, Robert Bork -- the conservative legal academic whose failed nomination to Supreme Court galvanized conservative judicial activists -- is back in Court. No, he has not been appointed to the bench. It seems Bork, a long time advocate of tort reform and critic of personal injury lawsuits fell down and hit his head while giving a speech at New York's Yale Club. He is now suing the Club for $1million, arguing that a railing should have been in place by the podium. Asked if his lawsuit was somewhat contradictory to his past barbs against trial lawyers and the "jackpot justice,' he believes our tort system leads to Bork responded. "I will admit it is tough for me. The conservative in me hates that tort lawsuits often transfer wealth from the rich to the poor, a no no in my book. However, also as a conservative I have an abiding belief that getting paid is good and getting paid phat is even better. I guess I just can't say no to the ol' rational self interest seeker in me."

This week, rumors abounded that a senior group of Republican lawmakers were going to request that Vice President Dick Cheney step down and make way for a Vice President who would not be a liability to Republicans in the 2008 elections. Spurred by a series in the Washington Post detailing Cheney's almost unlimited influence with the President as well as his penchant for secrecy and militarism, many within the GOP are beginning to worry that Cheney is a giant albatross. Hearing the rumours, the West Wing has begun preparations for Cheney-less West Wing. According to a White House spokeperson, large maps have been placed in strategic locations so the President can find the countries he wants to bomb. Also the American Chamber of Commerce has set up daily briefings with the President so he does not forget what is good for corporate America. Lastly, the White House has begun drills inwhich all the lights in the Oval Office are turned off for two full minutes while the President practices finding his ass with both hands.

This week, one more influential Republican Senator parted ways with the White House on the Iraq war. In the face of comments by Senator Lugar the White House admitted it was time to re-tool its message on Iraq. According to a Presidential Aide, various ideas for a new White House script were thrown around, "Some folks thought we should start blaming the military for being inept and cowardly, but that message did not poll well. Also, The Onion beat us to it. Then we finally hit on "Its Up to The Iraqis" as our key slogan. Now every time someone mentions what a mess Iraq is, we can just shrug our shoulders and say "Its up to the Iraqis." The slogan works great because it implies that despite the fact that we devastated their country, unleashed sectarian warfare, opened their borders to foreign insurgents and foisted a form of government they have no experience with or desire for, its all up to the Iraqis to get themselves out of this mess. And if they can't rise to the occasion, well its not our fault. Those Iraqis ... what a bunch of sissies."

This week, Senate Republicans successfully defeated the Employee Free Choice Act, a bill that would have made it easier for American workers to form unions. The bill would have recognized a union once a majority of workers signed union cards. At present, many union drives end in elections which are often marred by threats and intimidation on the part of the employer and whose results rarely take effect due to lengthy appeals. Elated at the result, John Sowintrough, made the following comment, "In terms of this country's economic viability, by which I mean the ability of a small group to make mucho bucks, it essential we keep American workers in their current position -- uninsured, politically and economically marginalized, fearful about their future, and with no ability to control the terms of their employment. Let's face it, unless we grease the rungs on the bottom of the ladder, all sorts of people will climb up to the tree house. "

This week, as noted above, Vice President Dick Cheney's Stasi-esque love of secrecy has been a source of consternation across the narrow political spectrum that is Washington. According to many, Cheney's desire for privacy is tied to his belief that the Executive branch (of which he now admits he is a member) has massive responsibilities in protecting a nation under constant attack. TWN, however, has uncovered the truth. According to a former aide who would only speak on condition of anonymity, Cheney's cloak of darkness is not designed to hide his political mechanizations but rather to "Cover up what we call 'La Vida Dick.' The man is out of control. Between the little volcanoes of methamphetamine he uses to jump start his heart to the rolls of vintage 8mm porn he keeps in climate controlled safes to the fact that he spends days in silk pajamas blowing off rounds from banned assault rifles and smoking Swisher Sweets. There is a lot we like to keep hidden about Dick Cheney. Like all that construction in the official residence --- we installed a dental chair with restraints off the living room. I mean we had to sound proof his office so no one would know he keeps "Gangasta Paradise" playing on an endless loop. The man put the 'Vice' in Vice President and that kind of stuff does not play well with our base."

This week, the CIA released thousands of documents about the kidnappings, assassinations, illegal surveillance and drug testing it conducted during the 1970s. Dubbed the "family jewels" this set of documents reveals that the CIA played a role in the assassination of the leaders of the Congo and Dominican Republic, colluded with the Mafia in attempt to kill Fidel Castro, routinely opened private mail headed to the Soviet Union, spied on a Vegas showgirl at the request of a mob boss, and kept a database of over 300,000 Americans it considered subversives including journalists and critics of the Vietnam war. While the sheer volume of documents, memos, microfilms and pictures will take some time to decode, TWN sought a man on the street view. Wallace Stephens on Wheelbarrow, NY offered the following, "We are lucky here in the US that only a narrow spectrum of political opinion ever gains acceptance. And I personally relish the stability and predictability that flows from that. I would rather not know how that stability was achieved, what with spying on people and shooting people and all. Besides we are free in all the important ways. Why go down to the mall. Look at all the things you can buy."

Bong Hits 4 Jesus

I see the Supreme Court recently expanded the power of school administrators to supress student speech they deem offensive or irreverent. I suspect there are a number of school board members, PTO partisans, and vice principals eager to keep the young ones in their place and insure that one generation's small mindedness and shibboleths are preserved in the next like some genetic defect.

"Bong Hits 4 Jesus" A stupid sign. Nonsense really. Not capable of any real harm... until it leads to a ruling like this. Speech doesn't hurt people. Supression hurts people.

Worth a Read

Below is a link to a nice piece on Iraq. It ends rather quickly, but scores points for the discussion of Rienhold Niebuhr, a philosopher who does not get much play anymore. Worth the read.
http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/james_anderson/2007/06/immoral_society.html

Speechless

Last week I saw an item about the Vatican issuing a Ten Commandments for Drivers. I blew it off entirely assuming it was a hoax. This weekend, I confirmed that the Vatican did indeed issue a Ten Commndaments for Drivers. I suspect there are a lot of things funny to say about that, but for right now the fact that one of the world's major religions is basically branding the Ten Commandments, leaves me pretty much speechless. I suspect Chicken Soup for The Catholic Soul is not far behind.

This Week In The News

This week Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton announced that she will use Canadian singer Celine Dion's "You and I" as her campaign song. While many disaparaged the choice as another example of the Senator choosing the lowest common denominator, Clinton campaign strategists were basking in what they see as a stroke of genius. Said Clinton Aide Lenny Foxton, "The fact that we have chosen the musical equivalent of cheez whiz fits into our general theme of inoffensiveness. Some people say 'Hillary. She is a Lightening Rod.' We want them to say 'Hillary. Why she is comforting just like elevator music. She fits right in.' We like to think of ourselves as the campaign that is all things to all people, the campaign with no sharp edges."

This week, Rudy Giuliani's bid to become the GOP nominee for President took a hit when the Chairman of his South Carolina commitee, Thomas Ravenel, was indicted for cocaine distribution. While this may have been a pox on the campaign of the former federal prosecutor, Giuliani's campaign appeared to use the indictment as an opportunity to present a less buttoned down version of the Mayor. Said aide Diane Hooverit: "Listen, this is a guy who used to Mayor of a major Snowbelt city. So when he has to go down and shake the hands of a bunch of cockfight afficianados, unreconstructed confederates and inbred tobacco heirs, it is not surprising he wants the company of a man who can order up some decent blow. I mean, a man's gotta live. He ain't no Mitt Romney. " Asked if she could use any other stereotypes for Southerners, Hooverit promised to check and report back.

This week, Vice President Dick Cheney attempted to abolish the National Archives and Records Adminstration, a federal agency he has battled over his refusal to turn over various documents in complaince with federal law. Since early 2002, Cheney has refused to divulge various bits of information such as the identity of energy industry executives he meets with, the cost of his travel, and the identities of visitors to his office. While critics have painted this as yet another example of Cheney's penchant for secrecy, Vice himself defended his actions by arguing he is not really part of the Executive Branch and therefore not covered by the laws in question. Cheney refused to reveal what branch of government he actually works for, snarling, "Bet you'd love to know wouldn't ya and tell all your Al Queada buddies in the liberal media..."

This week, media titan Rupert Murdoch continued negotiations aimed at taking over the Wall Street Journal , now owned by the Dow Jones Corporation. Murdoch, whose other papers include right wing tabloids in the US and Great Britain as well as the conservative Fox News is apparently arguing over the level of editorial control he will exercise over a the WSJ should his bid be successful. While parties to the negotiations would not be specific, apparently the following editorial proposals have caused a stir in the venerable financial paper: 1) a weekly pinup entitled the "Bull Market Baby" 2) a proposal for the Republican Party to pay for the advertsing space on the editorial page it now gets for free; 3) renaming the "Personal Journal" section "Cool Things to Do So People Know you Are Rich" and 4) a proposal to reduce by at least 40% the number of facts and statistics included in the paper on a daily basis. While Murdoch insisted that his proposals were non negotiable, he did suggest number four could be "phased in as the educational level of our readership drops."

You and I ... Are Going Down in Flames

Sen. Hillary Clinton has picked Celine Dion's "You and I " as her campaign song. Three problems. One, Celine Dion is Canadian. Two, the song is smarmy. Third, the song which is a mushy rendition of the commitment of two lovers, just doesn't really capture the relationship we want with our Chief Executive does it?

Lastly, does Celine Dion really play outside the buffet crowd? Remember, Chrsyler dropped her as a spokeswoman because she had no resonance with its demographic. She may have sunk even lower than the least common denominator.

A Very Bad Sign

The Religious Minsister of Pakistan has called for (or endorsed) suicide bombings in response to the Knighting of Salaman Rudshie in Great Britain. I thought these guys were our allies in the War on Terror? I know we are looking the other way as President Musharaff slowly turns his country into a dictatorship. I know we said nothing when he signed agreements that basically gave Al Queda free pass through the border of Afghainstan. Can we count Pakistan as an ally or is this another case where a marriage of convenience will head south on us?

Lincoln -- That Slacker

I just made my weekly tour of right of center blogs. It appears that Republicans have settled on one adjective to use against both Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton: ambitious.

Maybe I am just missing it, but has there ever been a President who was not ambitious? That is, someone who never wanted the top job and never took any action to position himself for it? Which President was it that said, "Okay if you make me, but just this once 'cuz I got other stuff to do." Face it. Even in the 19th Century, and even more so in the 20th when the rise of urban machines created a whole new class of potential politicians, politics has been an ambitious business. Every guy who held the top job wanted it and worked damn hard to get it. Do any of us really think that Messrs Giuliani, McCain and Romney are not ambitious men? That they just hope to fall, Forest Gump like, into the Presidency?

Correction

Rodney & Ledezma do not a bullpen make. If we had a pen, we sweep this series.

You Heard it Here First...

Fernando Rodney does not a bullpen make.

Rather

Saw news of the recent Rather controversy. "Tarted up" was the type of poor word choice men of his vintage tend to make. (Although one cannot argue that the botoxed and sandblasted Couric is not aware of the her sexless sex appeal.) But let's face it. Dan's right. I have seen three interviews Couric has done with the President and Secretary of State. She was a lightweight. More interested in showing deference than showing her teeth. It was only news in the way that slim jims are meat.

But you cannot blame CBS. We are a culture that wants to be entertained rather than informed. We prefer to "keep it light" and retreat from gravity like it was contagious. It is one of the small ways we are all infantalized and turned into helpless spectators.

Brewers 0-0-0

I have watched two other no hitters on TV. This was the best. Verlander had three pitches he could land on dime and the Brewers looked more like they were trying to defend themselves from a swarm of gnats than hit the pitch. This may be just what our beat up bullpen needed.

You Are Not Paranoid if Kathy Griffin is Trying to Kill You

This from the Heritage Foundation's townhall.com:

"The threat her left-wing rhetoric poses against our nation and our safety is gaining power."

Hillary Rodham Clinton? Nancy Pelosi? Lynn Redgrave. Nope. It is Kathy Griffin, a second tier comedienne and a fourth tier celebrity. Clearly we are under siege from within. Threat level is now at red.

Sopranos Redux

Ok. Got me. No "big hit" ending. No completed story arc. The beat just goes on. Evil largely goes unpunished and even the most thorny of issues can be solved by "coming up with a number." Everyone finds a way to keep keepin' on. And for the Sopranos, like most of our middle class, that means consuming (in this case onion rings), striving (to make the right "contacts")and holding together the fabric of our pretenses (in this case Sunday dinner).

I like the parallel lines of Phil and AJ. Both of them have to be stopped because both of them are a threat to the staus quo. AJ threatens to actually make something of his life and turn his back on his family's materialist ways. Phil threatens to disrupt the flow of business with his fantasies of revenge and power. Phily buys it at a gas station. Tony buys AJ a BMW.

Looking back, it was silly to expect a cinematic ending from David Chase. Of course, I say that "looking back," which is why DC makes the big loot.

The Sporanos

It seems everyone and their cousin Vincent is taking a swing at how the Sopranos will end. Here is my take.

You have to understand that the whole show is really about AJ. We like to think of Tony and his crew as the big metaphor for 21st Century America, and that might have been true for a long time. But now the big metaphor bawling his eyes out in the middle of his bedroom is AJ. AJ is us, AJ is the zeitigist and whatever other German word you want to insert to mean the spirit of the times. (I get the two that start with "sch" confused.)

Tony is a brutish and thuggish man dedicated to his own survival and prosperity and his pretenses at civility are getting perilously thin. (Insert obvious allusion to 21st Century world powers). Carmela is his deluded wife, willing to construct the most ridiculous narratives to justify the fact that she stays married to Tony because she is addicted to the upper middle class perks he provides. (The pantsuits, the granite countertops, the C Class, and that shower. Don't even get me started on that shower.)* Prosperous but morally pure is our Carm. She would be shocked, shocked and angered to learn that her lifestyle is financed by mechanations hatched at the Bing (Insert allusion to citizens of 21st century world powers.) What does this union of reality and desire sire? AJ. AJ, who when not being sullen and acquisitive is impotent, weak, and at least mildly retarded. (Insert -- oh you get it by now.)

But we cannot let AJ wither on the vine, groping for his antidepressants and crying in his sleeve. No. We have to believe. AJ will make one last stand. AJ can be redeemed. AJ will try to save his father from Phil Leotardo and his goons.

And he will make a muck of it.

His heroics will be for naught. While he will try to save Tony from an assasin's bullet, Tony will step in front of him, take two to the chest and fall on top of his son sporting that patented heavy lidded stare. AJ will then suffocate under the sheer weight of Tony's voracious appetites as represented by his pendulous man breasts. The metaphor will slap us in the face like one of those singing fish from Season 5. Carmela will enter just in time to pray the rosary and appear chagrined that a life of self delusion and self aggrandizement could end so badly.


*At one point, Carmella even mentioned her Catholic dedication the family as a reason not to leave her murderous husband. I am sure Carmela believes we invaded Iraq to spread democracy.*

Mitt

I caught a little of the GOP debate last night. I am not really sure anybody distinguished themselves from the pack. Here is a tidbit from Romney:

"By the way, Harry Reid was wrong. We did not lose the war in Iraq. And that's not the sort of thing you say when you have men and women in harm's way."

No Mitt. Harry Reid was right. May was the deadliest month for US troops since the beginning of the war and 20 more have died this month. Turkish troops are pouring over the Iraq border to assualt the Kurds and the AL Sadr militia seems to claim more loyalty within the Iraqi security forces than the actual Iraqi government. And yes Mitt, it is precisely the thing you say when you have men and women in harm's way and their civilian leaders are so far in denial and so deep in political spin that they cannot see the failed state in front of them. It is precisely the thing to say because it is the truth and the truth is much more important to our soldiers than your self serving fairytales.

My opinion that Mitt Romney is an empty suit remains unchanged.

Faith and Politics

I just finished watching the Democratic presidential forum sponsored by Sojourners. Sooprise Sooprise. Each of the major candidates has robust religious faith that they take very seriously and that has helped them through many a personal struggle. The don't know what they would do without their faith. Heck, if they could they would get naked with it right here. Really.

Someday, we may have a day in American politics when this type of faith based fashion show is unnecessary.

I was hoping this forum would focus a little more on the role faith can play in social policy (like adressing how anyone can call themselves a christian and vote Republican) and be a little less of an opportunity for the candidates to show off their religious faith like a 12 year old shows off his Transformers. Non the less, there were some moments worth watching.

A few random notes:

Credit John Edwards for admitting he sins multiple times every day. Its nice to see a wee bit of humility in someone looking for the office. It seems to many christians, sin is something other people do.

Hillary Clinton says that she comes from a tradition that is "sometimes too suspicious of those who wear their faith on their sleeve." I don't think you can ever be too suspicious of such people.

I liked Barak Obama's appeal to the common good and I thought Clinton did a good job of stating the obvious -- if we want a just society some of us are going to have to sacrifice. No one likes to hear this and I don't think we talk nearly enough about the sacrifies the blessed of us need to make for the rest of us. Like it or not if we want fewer homeless, fewer criminals, fewer dropouts, fewer abortions, and fewer people without health insurance, we may just have to pay for those things with money we now use for consumer goods. Overall, I think Obama did the best job of articulating a vision that balances our traditional mythology of self reliance with the reality of our interdependence. Hone that and he may have something.

Clinton ran from her Iraq vote and her bit on abortion was the worst sort of pandering. (Notably, the NYT Magazine's piece on her decision making process before her vote to authorize the use of force makes her position more -- not less -- problematic.)

Edwards got a little long in reciting his resume on poverty issues. Ironically, the fact that he is the candidate with the longest record on this issue worked against him.

Credit Obama's statement that too often we use religious faith as a tool to bolster our self image instead of a tool for questioning our motives. This cannot be said enough. Unfortunately, religious folk in America are better than you and will tell you so.


Update

You know, I may have been a little harsh in my assessment of the Sojo event. With a few hours of distance, there was something a bit more there. Broadly speaking my experience is that the majority of religious folk use religion as a device to make the world small, to emphasize the differences between them and others, to create all sorts of artificial pseudo moral boundaries (and political litmus tests) on what constitutes the good life, make complex things simple, and to carefully contain our potential and tell us what cannot be done. A smaller group use their faith to enlarge the world, erase social differences, engage injustice, and remove the limits to human potential. Overall, the Dems who spoke last night fall into the latter category. Their willingness to recognize that none of us are in a position to cast the first stone (Edwards), and their recognition that the practical maintenance of our common humanity sits at the middle of the game (Obama) is commendable and maybe a little inspirational.

I still do not need to hear about Hillary's "Prayer Warriors" though. Tell me that eradicating poverty is a biblical imperative and I can get behind that. Tell me about your prayer warriors and you are just some freak from the 700 Club.

Can I Get Some Bullet Points on That?

Six.

That is the number of U. S. Senators who bothered to read the entire text of the National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq (NIE) delivered to Congress and kept in a secure location, ten days before the vote to authorize war. It seems the rest of the Senate relied on the summary of the NIE which, according to Senator Lindsay Graham, was more one sided and less nuanced than the NIE itself and did not contain important caveats and warnings.

Not a great time to rely on the Cliff Notes boys and girls. Before we go and wreak mayhem, might be a good idea to read the whole report.

6 Days War

This morning, I listened to a story about the Six Days War, which has its anniversary this week. I never knew that Egyptian President Nasser used bogus intelligence from the Soviets to justify closing the Straits on Isreal. (The "intelligence" supposedly indicated that Isreal was about to invade.) Then again, I should have figured our current Administration could not come up with this on its own.

Tigers 11, Indians 12

Undoubtedly the worst piece of pitching I have seen in three years from the Tigers. Its gut check time in the bullpen boys. You cannot score 11 runs on 15 hits and lose.

This Week In The News

This week, China loudly entered the family of capitalist economies. While many experts have doubted China's commitment to free markets over the past decade, recent events demonstrate that China must be considered one of the preeminent practitioners of American style capitalism. More precisely, the head of China' food and drug administration was caught taking bribes from Chinese drug companies who wanted their drugs exempt from price controls. Said China expert Paul "Wally" Zong of Goldman Sachs, "This week's events demonstrate that China is well on the road to junking the idea of the state as the protector of the common man and transforming it into a tool for commercial interests. One more generation and they will believe that tax cuts for the wealthy enrich everyone. Two generations and the idea of a government regulators actually regulating will be an anachronism. I'm bullish on China."

This week, eulogies for deceased moralist Jerry Falwell continued. While the loudest praise has come from Republican presidential candidates hoping to flash their religious credentials, the common man has also mourned the passing of the great prophet. As Zeke Brenner of Homestead, Alabama noted, " I have followed Jerry since the beginning. Before him, I was just a guy who hated on fags and jews. Wanted to keep womenfolk in line and preggers as much as possible, and mistrusted anybody who was different than me. I figured the poor was poor because they were stupid and lazy and that the Lord loved America a little more than them other countries. Before Jerry, folks called me an ignorant bigot and I was just about suspectin' they was right. But then Jerry came and he said, I wasn't just ignorant or bigoted. Hell no, what I was a devout christian and what's more, I was being ignored and persecuted in my own country by a bunch of lispy liberals and egg heads from the west coast. He set me straight, put a start in my step and I shall never forget it. Before Jerry, guys like me had no place to go but the Klan."

This week, GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney continued to battle the impression that he is a soft headed opportunist whose positions change with the political wind. His message may be getting traction. Ted Littlespoon of Manchester NH attended a Romney event and said, "I think Mitt is getting a bum rap. He is just a normal guy from a really wealthy Republican family who unfortunately has few achievements to call his own.* He campaigned for Governor in Massachusetts as a moderate who would unite -- not divide-- the state's warring factions, While some people criticized him for not being the sharpest guy around, he won that election by raising sick amounts of money from friends of his family and emphasizing and talking about religious faith in a vague and unspecific way. Now he is running on conservative positions while calling himself a centrist. What is so bad about that.?"

This week, President Bush called for 15 nations including the US, to set goals to cut carbon emissions over the next fifteen years. The President has been on record as a global warming doubter and refused to enact the 1997 Kyoto Protocol or agree to any specific targets put forth by European nations. Asked about the President's rather rapid about face, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow noted. "Two things. First, we have to go to Germany next month and we want to preempt the whole"why-is-the-world's-biggest-polluter-not-doing-anything-about -carbon - emissions' thing. Two, its legacy time. If the books were closed today this President would be known for waging an unnecessary and failed war in Iraq, enacting tax cuts that exacerbated the gap between the wealthy and the rest of us, running up a huge deficit, screwing up the response to Hurricane Katrina, presiding over the most scandal ridden Department of Justice and Department of Interior in history, and ignoring global warming. I mean... we gotta shake loose something he can tell his grandchildren."

This week, former Sen Fred Thompson released a 40 second video on YouTube in which he makes fun of filmmaker Michael Moore while smoking a strikingly macho cigar. While Thompson has played it coy about his political ambitions many believe he is setting the stage for a presidential run. Asked what would define such a run, the avuncular Thompson answered: "The straight talking tough guy that I have always played. My ability to mouth folksy aphorisms. I mean, you gotta go with your strengths. In my life I have been a government lawyer, a lobbyist for foreign governments and corporations and a Senator. I am on my second marriage to a women twenty five years my junior and spent a lot of time telling people about my hijinks as a divorced actor. Although there has never been a war I did not loudly support, I avoided service in all of them. Given that record, I think I'll stick with the characters I have played rather than the man I actually am. Now I just have to think of how to call myself an outsider. Real outsiders scare people. Look at Howard Dean. But insiders who call themselves outsiders -- there's the thing. "

(*I know, Romney organized the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake. So now we want an Event Planner to be our President?)

Lest we forget, it is now slightly over two years since Vice President Cheney assured us the insurgency was in its "death throes." May 2007 was the bloodiest month on record for US soldiers in Iraq.

If you have not done anything to stop this folly, now may be the time. Write a letter. Drop a dime. Get a yard sign. Get a bumpersticker. Write a check. Sign an internet petition. Get creative with bodypaint. Lose the right eyebrow.

Television (Maybe) Worth Watching

Sojourners and some other faith based organizations are hosting a televised presidential forum on poverty and similar issues. The folks at Sojourners are, generally speaking, the types of christians you can take seriously. The info is as follows:

A Presidential Forum on Faith, Values, and Poverty
Sojourners will host a CNN live broadcast of leading Democratic presidential contenders Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and Barack Obama on Monday, June 4, @ 7:00 pm EST for A Presidential Forum on Faith, Values, and Poverty at Lisner Auditorium of The George Washington University.